One Good Friend

One good friend,
is all that you need.
They have to be honest,trust
worthy, and easy to read.

One person who will
always be on your side.
With no distrust or deceit,
with nothing to hide.

You have to be able
to tell them a secret.
And believe that, for sure,
they will always keep it.

You have to be ablet
o tell them your past.
If they try to comfort you,
your friendship will last.

You have to be able
to tell them whats wrong.
If they're a good friend,
they'll help you along.

Too bad best friends
are not easy to find.
Life would be easier,
if best friends were assigned.

and as they are not,
I shall tell you all
I have my friends
and I love them all....

Theyre the ones
that make me smile.
theyre the ones
that make me feel.

Theyre always near me
I they keep me near.
They hug me
and I feel truely great.

*_dedicated to my real friends...no names, because you guys know who you are.....remember me..because if I die & you never know..... I'll go back to tou guys & kiss you all good night....Your only about 6 of my best friends....C.N.G.S.A.D.....hugs & kisses... & hope you all have a fucking nice vacation!!!_*

no name....just untitled

the night falls in a heavy, suffocating cloak, cold and alone are we.the emotion for which you sacrifice yourselfflares once, then dies,swept away by a velvet ebon nothingness.all hope must surely perish.your heart beats no more.how could you cause such hurt?lost souls surround us, crying,sanctuary.

A Love not known

I think of you all the time
not knowing what you will say
after a while i get the guts
then I chicken out and be myself once again

I think of you from morning to night fall
I see you Monday true Friday
hoping to see you Saturday and Sunday
as I talk to you I want to tell you
but I never have the guts
all I can say

I show are you
I love you with all my heart but yet
I cant bear to tell you how I feel
if I do then you might say no
and that will make me cry inside
after a while ill black it out
still my love for you will
stay there forever

I know how I feel
and I know that i think of you
my poems are about you
since I see you I get the spark
without you I am nothing
but I really want to tell you
please read this .

I now it might be a
Small chance but for me that is alot my
mind filled with thoughts of you
everyday I cry everyday

I want to die a little
but you save me from myself
helping me out with one word or glance
I love you with all my heart just know that.....

The Death Lullaby

Oh my darling don't you cry, Its ok, you'll be all right. Forget demons, fight the pain, I swear every thing will be okay. Hear the fallen angels sing, Their hollowed voices, how they ring. Hum along, now, don't be shy, Because you, my love, will die tonight. Now don't be scared, now do not fright, Just take my hand and follow the light, I swear to you, you'll finally be free, Just take my hand, and you will see Do not cry, Im here for you, Im right here, love, just waiting for your cue. When you're ready, I'll set you free, When the darkness fades, and again you'll see.

adivina adivinador....

quien será??..... no sé....& tu???

what she's thinking

Kiss of inmortality

Swoop in through the windowas I rush from the curtains you grab me in your foul lust thrown on the worn bed I lay there helplessly as you come ever closer Your form changes again now from wings to arms your eyes pierce mine your presence, dark and cold. Yet your face is mysteriously charming beneath the evil appearance Our eyes lock, mine in horror yours in a deathly fantasy Then you give me a slow smileto show your incisor sharp teeth resistance is no longer a choice my eyes linger on you sensually You malice gleams with beauty A solace waiting to be destroyed All now I can desire is you As you take my soul with your smile I do not protestas you trespass over the boundaries I'm lost in a tranceby your deadly stare. Silently, you unsheathe your cloak slipping off your silk shirt softly you crawl on top I can only watch, paralyzed whether in fear or lustas your charm takes hold I fall into ecstasy with you. and you give your sins to me. soothingly you begin to caress my neck under the tangling sheets we stay as my purity is stolen away Innocence means nothing more to me You twirl my hair in your long fingernails and I shutter at such a feeling as your claws stroke my veins I would have run and hid for my life if you were not so amazingly beautiful And I would have shivered in fear if your arms were not around me so tight calmly you look into my questioning eyes I can only hope you will end my agony fast I know I've fallen hard in death's arms but its better than dying in a lonely way my life, your elixir, it all the same I'll feed off your love as you feed of my blood pierce my skin with your smile and fangs as my face becomes paler every second I will remember you with no regrets to my death but I had no clue you had another surprise in store.... You say you can make me be with you forever If I am strong and willing enough to live and give in and we can fly through the night for eternity The opportunity is too exciting to pass up so I agree to your bribes to be yours eternally and the only way you can do it is to give me the sweet, agonizing, luscious kiss of immorality. with razor sharp claws you willingly scrape yourself so the blood will flow and even as I am fading away from you painful bite you lean closer to me I struggle to breath drip by drip the blood is draining from me you wait till the last moment before my heart gives out then a final kiss you give your lips gushing with blood touch mine that have become so cold. the instant your tongue caresses mine the life flows back into mestronger...love lier than before I am consumed by your gaze you don't pull away too fast but linger for a moment we lay there together for a while curled up in the blood-stained sheets the two wound punctures on my neck heal instantly by the vampires power Hand in hand, we step up to the window you first flew through to capture me once was you victim, I am now a lover together we fall from the 11 stories high singing sweet songs of love and lust and right before we crash to the ground We spread our wings and off into the night we fly the full moon ever above us always watching as we fly together for eternity because you gave me the kiss of immortality.

>_<

Miercoles..... hay maldita ociosidad que tengo, en lugar de que los niños utilizen las crayolas me encuentro "garabatiando" con ellas.......

Love me........ Kiss me......

Show me how to love...

Sally's Song.....& my song too

I sense there's something in the wind That feels like tragedy's at hand And though I'd like to stand by him Can't shake this feeling that I have The worst is just around the bend And does he notice my feelings for him? And will he see how much he means to me? I think it's not to be What will become of my dear friend? Where will his actions lead us then? Although I'd like to join the crowd In their enthusiastic cloud Try as I may, it doesn't last And will we ever end up together? no, I think not, it's never to become For I am not the one

¿Por qué?..¡¿Por qué?!

coño!!...coño!!!........¡¿Por qué a mi?!....yo qué hice?? diganmelo....que no tienen con saber que me pudro por dentro & que soy una idiota & lo acepto...?? carajo, por qué son asi??..& dicen que les importo??.... pues no parece, solo quieren que sea otra, quieren que sea una farsa..... bueno creo que tendre que hacerlo, como buena maquina que soy.....no tengo amor, cariño ni comprension......solo un cuerpo & mi alma destrozada... me iré, no se cuando, nose a donde, pero sé que acabaré en un accidente......morire & seré feliz alfin...

Oh dear..u_u

You know I don't talk that much, that I hide in silence.... but besides that I do love, I love thee. I love you, yes you, you young man man that doesn't even care if I die. That doesn't care if I cry & if I'm shy.... You talk about that girl with me & a friend.. but you don't know that my heart wants yours... You talk & talk & just put a fake smile, I kind of don't talk to anyone but you make me smile.. I have a smile a broken heart, & the wishes that your love can be at a time mine....

In the forest...

walking in the forest, with blood all over because of the car that hit me.....

walking in the forest waiting for my love.....

Solo pensamientos...

Estoy sola & no lo lamento, de hecho me gusta estar así....el silencio divino & mis pensamientos extraños...

Me persigue una mujer, diciendo que me quiere sin sentirlo, me abraza de la forma más sin sentido que jamás eh visto...

Mi can me persigue & llora al no estar con él...el felino se acuesta en mis piernas de la forma más cómoda al parecer....

Lloro sin razón, rio de forma exagerada acompañada de las sombras & la pared.....mis manos tiemblan sin tener un porqué & mi corazón parece haber dejado de latir ya que no lo escucho.....

Mis joyas parecen antiguedades & mis manos de un hombre.....mis ojos pequeños delineados con exageración...mi brazo izquierdo con cinco cortadas gracias al compás & mi espalda mayugada de tanto navajear......

Sé que a lo mejor no tengo amigos......pero si tengo & ese amigo es la soledad...

Crazy days....

Day where In my dungeon, or so called school, every slave could go in his/her night close.....Wednesday.... .....every slave came as if they where Matilda's mom (from the movie Matilda), or as some people would call or name as freaks, geeks or "nacos".... Monday...... .....where everyone brought a "hat" or something to wear on there head....Tuesday.... ......Where some came as nerds...Thursday.... ....Where we didn't have even clases ,but just junk music & stupid so called entertainmet & fun, but they left best for last......Today morning /Friday (no photos ....u_u sorry)

"Don't care about me.... It doesn't matter if I go..... It doesn't matter if I die...."

Letras

"La tarde está muriendo como un hogar himilde que se apaga. Allá, sobre los montes, quedan algunas brasas. & ese árbol roto en el camino blanco hace llorar de lástima. ¡Dos ramas en el tronco herido,& una hoja marchita & negra en cada rama! ¿Lloras?...Entra los álamos de oro, lejos, la sombra del amor aguarda."

"No tomes importancia a tu entorno, debes recordar que serás intemporal,nada deberá sacarte del sopor en el que te encuentras, serás incorruptible."

"Una nocje de verano
estaba abierto el balcón
& la puerta de mi casa,
la muerte a mi casa entró.

Se fue acercando a su lecho,
ni siquiera me miró,
con unos dedos finos
algo muy tenue rompió.

Silenciosa & sin mirarme,
la muerte otra vez pasó
delante de mí.¿Qué has hecho?
La muerte no respondió.

Mi niña quedó tranquila,
dolido mi corazón.
¡Ay, lo que la muerte ha roto
era un hilo entre los dos!"

"Tarde tranquila, casi
con placidez de alma,
para ser joven, para haberlo sido
cuando Dios quiso,para
tener algunas alegrías...lejos
& poder dulcemente recordarlas."

Together Forever

Walking all alone, not knowing what to do; I see a boy with some velvet too. He's in the light, I watch in the shadows. He gets my sent & looks around. He looks to were I am for only I stay still, he walks to the darkness, he walks pass me.. As I start walking I feel a hand, he's behind me graving my hand. He looks at me with tender eyes, he looks so familiar to me. He comes closer, & gives me a sweet kiss.. He wispers in my ear: "oh my dear, it's time now.." Now I remember, Now I know why... Now I know that I will nearly die, that I shall become inmortal for the rest of my life. He kisses my neck, he says it will be quick. The fangs pass trough my skin, the blood sucked to his mouth.

I feel so weak & also pain,

he looks at me with tender eyes,

he cuts himself & gives me blood,

So I stand up & now where together forever....

Made by me....

I wish I died....

Sometimes I wish so much to die, people don't know I exist people don't estimate me & I don't have much nice attitude. There's many things in the world I still don't understand, I wish so much todie because I know no one will notice... I laugh so much when they all say "my dear, your so beautiful.." but do they think I buy that shit? Well how can I believe if my self-estime is all the way down to hell. I wish to die, I guess It's a deal; God told satin all about it & they both agreed. Now I have the knife again, just like last night; I pass it once again my shoulder blade, it starts bleeding again. Now I feel no pain, I've done this since junior high; I pass to my wrist the placed I haven't passed in years. I slice my arm many times, sometimes deeper as it seems; the blood starts running to my hand it is so red It feels so cold, it feels so sweet,now I feel weak; I tumble down to just black out....

Made by me...the unwanted girl

Idiota...una completa idiota

Nursing Old Wounds
Are you ready for the snow to fall?
There must be more to love than this,
the long-term torture, short-term bliss
But am I ready for the snow to fall?
And now that we are long apart,
and still we nurse our broken hearts,
our conversations stilted, stark-
(the scars of love have left their mark-
[or have we ever loved at all?])
Are we ready for the snow to fall?

Everything is an End
Come moonbathe with me, my pale memory-
-touch skin to frigid stone.
Hush-- let the raindrops intone the lullaby.
Sink back down, far from harm;
subside and gaze into the cavernous sky
caught-- in my automatic arms.

When you watched the bloody sky
you avoided the look in my eyes.
The moon was not for you:
deep in the summer's decay,
you preferred the gaudy
death throes of the day--
but when the shadow fingers twined
like psychedelic vines
up the flat grantie,
you had to face me.
The end is near.

Come sing with me, my pale memory--
swim that stale symphony.
By choice, you are so shallow as a whole,
that as you founder in the void,
you won't understand what I stole.

If there is a god,
he hates me to weave this
pinpricked belveteen sky;
as though they'll never see you again,
there are fears in my eyes;
for if your sunset flees my love,
he has forsaken us.
His sun is dead;I
killed him with my satin touch
,stain tainted his setting.
We haven't the strengthto ignite the blackness,
or dissolve in vitriol.We hope, but in this dark,
there is no light
to redeem ourselves-- in the end,
there is no meaning to life.

You let me fly awhile;
I'm but a man-child.
That cold fatemonger,
stripped of tactful excuses,
whoring sex's uses and abuses,
let me soar awhile;
I'm but a man-child,
smoking out the window
,tapping ashes in the night,
in the nieghbor's house a white light--
through a red curtain;
Everything is an end.

Relatos...

A lo que llegan los relatos entre madre & hija... Bueno les contaré lo que me dijo mi querida madre al estar en el auto camino a casa... (entre risas & otras locuras)..."madre, ¿recuerdas cuando estaban construyendo la casa de mi tío & salté del segundo piso?.."...si, recuerdo muy bien que caiste & todos quedamos callados, te regañó tu tía & solo nos ignoraste & volviste a hacerlo.."...(risas)..."si, lo recuerdo muy bien....& ¿te acuerdas cuando me aventé a la alberca & ni siquiera sabía nadar?.." (termina de reir).."oh si!....todos nos metimos apresurados por tí..tu solo saliste con tu carita de entre susto & ahogada.....pero lo volviste a hacer...."...(volvemos a reir)...."eso no lo recordaba.."....Si siempre tenias tus actos suicidas... hasta miedo me daba dejarte sola....tenías esa maña de desengancharte de tu "arnés" & esconderte entre la ropa cuando hibamos a disneylandia...." (risas)(fin) ¿Quien lo diría?...desde tan pequeña sentía deseos de morir....já...qué cómico nunca lo imagine... se me es muy agradable & a la vez gracioso saber de mis "actos suicidades infantiles"....simplemente un relato de madre & hija...

Ocio...

jeje..a lo que llego a hacer en mis momentos en los que las clases son demasiado aburridas & termino mis trabajos rápidamente....simplemente cosas que salen de mi cabeza...

más fragmentos de Los Cantos de Maldoror

CANTO PRIMERO (continue) Fragmento He visto, durante toda mi vida, sin una sola excepción, a los hombres de hombros estrechos realizar numerosos actos estúpidos, embrutecer a sus semejantes, y pervertir a las almas por todos los medios. A los motivos de su acción le llaman: la gloria. A todos a la vez los he visto, unas veces con el puño más robusto dirigido hacia el cielo, como el de un niño ya perverso contra su madre, probablemente excitados por algún espíritu del infierno, con los ojos recargados de un remordimiento punzante y al mismo tiempo lleno de odio, en un silencio glacial, sin atreverse a manifestar las vastas e ingratas meditaciones que encubría su seno –tan llenas estaban de injusticia y horror-, y entristecer así de compasión al Dios misericordioso; otras veces, a cada momento del día, desde el comienzo de la infancia hasta el fin de la vejez, diseminando increíbles anatemas, que no tenían el sentido común, contra todo lo que respira, contra ellos mismos y contra la Providencia, prostituir a las mujeres y a los niños, y deshonrar así las partes del cuerpo consagradas al pudor. Entonces los mares levantan sus aguas, sumergen en sus abismos los maderos; los huracanes y los terremotos derriban las casas; la peste y las diversas enfermedades diezman a las familias rezantes. Pero los hombres no se dan cuenta. También los he visto enrojecer o palidecer de vergüenza por su conducta en esta tierra; raramente. Tempestades hermanas de los huracanes, firmamento azulado cuya belleza no admito, mar hipócrita, imagen de mi corazón, tierra de seno misterioso, habitantes de las esferas, universo eterno, Dios que los has creado con magnificencia, a ti te invoco: ¡muéstrame a un hombre bueno! Pero, que tu gracia decuplique mis fuerzas naturales, pues ante el espectáculo de ese monstruo, yo puedo morir de asombro: se muere por mucho menos. CANTO SEGUNDO Fragmento Viejo océano, tu forma armoniosamente esférica, que alegra la cara grave de la geometría, me recuerda demasiado los pequeños ojos del hombre, similares por su pequeñez a los del jabalí, y a los de las aves nocturnas por la perfección circular de su contorno. Sin embargo, el hombre se ha creído hermoso en todos los siglos. Pero yo supongo, más bien, que el hombre sólo cree en su belleza por amor propio, pues en realidad no es bello y él lo sospecha; si no, ¿por qué mira el rostro de su semejante con tanto desprecio? ¡Te saludo, viejo océano! Viejo océano, eres el símbolo de la identidad: siempre igual a ti mismo. Nunca cambias de una manera esencial, y, si tus olas están en alguna parte furiosas, más lejos, en alguna otra zona, se hallan en la más completa calma. No eres como el hombre, que se detiene en la calle para ver cómo se atenazan por el cuello dos dogos y no se detiene cuando pasa un entierro, que por la mañana es asequible y por la tarde está de mal humor, que ríe hoy y mañana llora. ¡Te saludo, viejo océano! Viejo océano, no sería nada imposible que escondieras en tu seno futuras utilidades para el hombre. Ya le has dado la ballena. No dejas adivinar fácilmente a los ojos ávidos de las ciencias naturales los mil secretos de tu íntima organización: eres modesto. El hombre se vanagloria de continuo, y por minucias. ¡Te saludo, viejo océano!

CANTO PRIMERO

Fragmento "Lector, quizás desees que invoque al odio en el comienzo de esta obra. ¿Quién te dice que no has de olfatearlo, sumergido en innumerables voluptuosidades, tanto como quieras, con tus orgullosas narices, anchas y afiladas, volviéndote de vientre, semejante a un tiburón, en el aire hermoso y negro, como si comprendieras la importancia de ese acto y la importancia no menos de tu legítimo apetito, lenta y majestuosamente, las rojas emanaciones? Te aseguro que los dos deformes agujeros de tu horroroso hocico, oh monstruo, se regocijarán, si te dispones de antemano a respirar tres mil veces seguidas la conciencia maldita de lo Eterno. Tus narices, desmesuradamente dilatadas por la inefable satisfacción, por el éxtasis inmóvil, no pedirán otra cosa al espacio, embalsamado de perfumes e incienso, pues se colmarán de una dicha completa, como los ángeles que habitan en la magnificencia y la paz de los gratos cielos. " C.L

Temores...

Eh reflexionado ultimamente & me eh dado cuenta que tengo unos temores tan idiotas..... temores insignificantes & que me harian ver estúpida, pero qué más da...diré algunos: Temo no volver a amar & a ser amada.. Temo a no tener amigos...aunque sé que los tengo, siento que los pierdo... Temo desperdiciar mi vida....aunque desperdiciada a lo mejor está Temo a decir lo que siento en ocasiones, aunque tenga tantas ganas de decirlo.. No deseo ser como mi hermana...Entiendalo!!, no soy ella & aceptenme... Temo a que me descubran..... Temo a quedar de nuevo sola... Temo llorar en este instante & a todo momento, ya que no aguanto en ocasiones & solo algo me saca del martirio.. Temo a no recibir un abrazo cuando lo necesito.... Simplemente temo que no me acepten & eso me deprime más... Creo que eso es todo, creo que será algo estúpido que todos ignorarán pero aún asi me eh deahogado un poco, pero ahora de forma escrita no de forma masoquista...

Nadie

Nadie me quiere. Nadie me adora. Nadie me corteja con fresas & moras. Nadie me ofrece caramelos & bollos. Nadie se ríe con mis bromas & trolas. Nadie me ayuda con deberes & tareas. Nadie me añora. Nadie me llora. Nadie me cree persona encantadora. & si me preguntan quién es mi amigo, te diré que Nadie se junta conmigo. Aunque anoche desperté &, asustada, vi que Nadie había desaparecido. Llamé, & la mano de Nadie quise buscar en la oscuridad donde suele aguardar. Por los rincones de casa rebusqué & en todos a alguien siempre encontré. Ya estoy harta de buscar,& ahora que ha amanecido, ya no cabe duda: ¡Nadie se ha ido!

Never more

kill me..please

kill me!!..I know you don't care if I'm damn sad, but why don't you do me a favor & kill me!!.... Is that enough for you or would you like to keep bugging me with questions I don't want to answer.. I beg you, leave me alone!!!!...or are you waiting until I cry & go psycho or until I feel as lonely as hell??well....there you have it, I'm all that..... & know I wish for a hug...& I wish for a coffin...

My so searched outfit....

lovely dress..... I've been searching for a model like this.....I need to make it or investigate where they sell such a beautiful dress....

I noticed that this girl has the piercing that I want..as you can see she has a chain.....I want one like that....but besides that the outfit is great.....

This is a beautiful dress for going out for a walk...I would feel really comfortable.......well its just a dress for you to see.......

well I think that's about it.....farewell hope you all liked these dresses...

By the way....HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS!!!!..happy 16!!!your always in my heart.........